Re: Freshmen Dorms

[Guest]

Jake had Nova in his arms, and he gave him a small hug in response Nova whined, nuzzling Jake's neck. Jack frowned, although it was only for a few days he did miss having him around most of the week.

"Here you go." Jake said handing Nova over to her.

[Tiger-Lily]

Evelyn stepped forward and took the puppy, stepping away from Jake swiftly once she had Nova. She had a sudden urge to just close the door in his face for his cold commentary earlier but she resisted, instead giving Nova a kiss on his head. She knelt and placed him down on the carpet.

"Go on, boy." Nova obediently trotted into the kitchen to his food bowl, sniffing. Evelyn straightened up, tucking a bronze strand of hair that had escaped back into her ponytail.

[Guest]

"I'm sorry." Jake blurted. He didn't exactly plan to do it that way, but Evelyn had made a point earlier telling him that she wasn't forcing him to be faithful, plus she was with her friends so it meant that it was a casual outing, not like she was running off and getting married.

"I overreacted, and I shouldn't have. I'm sorry." Jacob apologized, he didn't care he just really hated these damn awkward moments that seemed to follow them everywhere.

[Tiger-Lily]

She turned around and stared at him, feeling her head buzz unhelpfully. After a moment, she closed her eyes, inhaled and opening her eyes, said quietly, "The open-relationship thing was for your benefit. Not mine.I don't really....I don't have any plans to go out with anyone else."

[Guest]

Jake nodded slowly, "I know I know." He sighed he knew this had to be done and figured might as well save himself and Evelyn any trouble or drama that could possibly ensue from their whatever the hell it was supposed to be.

"Yeah, its over Evelyn. This isn't going to work out." Jake came out with it, surprised at how nonchalant he sounded.

Before she could even say anything or protest to it Jacob spoke up, "Listen its just, I'm not who you wanna be with, I'm your second choice hell not even that, I'm probably right below Seth on your list of guys that if you had to hook up to save the human race I'm sure a stray dog would come before me, and that's fine. I've accepted it."

Jake sighed looking in her eyes, "Truth be told is you shouldn't be with me, we'd be terrible in a relationship. We can't go five minutes without bickering like four year olds, and we're hardly friends to say the least." Jake let out a deep breath, "Sure I don't have pretty blue eyes, and I can't get hundreds of girls to look at me with a single glance, but whatever that's just life."


A lot of the things he was saying to her were cutting him deep on the inside, but he knew he'd recover. Things like this were always painful but he knew when a girl didn't like him, "I know you want to believe that James isn't the guy for you, that you two just have nothing in common except to bring the other down, but deep down, you know he's always gonna be your first choice. The guy that no matter how long you go without seeing he's gonna make you feel sick, and light headed. But me, I'll never be that to you. I'll never be able to take your breath away or say something that makes you fall in love with me, for you that's James not me."

Jacob licked his lips, his breath hitched in his throat for a moment, "I don't want you to worry about me, or feel bad. I'll bounce back, I always do. I just don't want you making a mistake you'll regret."

Jake smiled lightly pushing a loose curl away from her face, "You know not everything we did was too bad, hanging out with you at times was fun. You kind of grounded me in a "destroy my self esteem" kind of way." Jake laughed lightly,looking down at the ground. He frowned for a moment, but looked up at her, "But in a way you kind of made me remember how I used to be before I got screwed up by Rachel, and you even made me want to be faithful for the first time in a real long time, and I hadn't had that feeling in so long and I thank you for that Evelyn, but you belong to James Darko." He finished quietly.

[Tiger-Lily]

She stared at him again, his words taking their sweet time sinking in.

She suddenly felt cold all over. Her fingers began to shake.

If there was one thing Evelyn hadn't done, one way she had yet to injure him, it was this.

Evelyn stepped forward, and backhanded Jake across the face, fury burning in her eyes. Her hand stung when she swung it back, but she ignored it, feeling her breath coming in pants.

[Guest]

Jake's cheek burned from where Evelyn had back handed him, his eyes stung and he opened them to see Evelyn in front of him her green eyes filled with fury, He closed his eyes again, clenching and then unclenching his fist.

He wasn't sure how he was feeling, but he let his brown eyes meet her light eyes, "You have no right to hit me for being honest to you, and I won't even let you make me regret a single thing I said to you just now because its the truth."

[Tiger-Lily]

Evelyn could hardly believe he was saying all this. It felt like it was going in one ear and out the other.

Her eyes felt hot, and she didn't know if it was because they were tearing up or because she was so angry, she couldn't think straight.

Evelyn decided not to do this with the door open and Jake standing in the hall. They were fairly infamous already on this floor.

She reached through the door and grabbed Jake's wrist, jerking him inside. Before he protested, Evelyn slammed the door, glad Alexis was still out.

She turned around to face him and hissed, "I belong to James, do I? Well, that's really nice, Jake. Thanks for considering that I might have some reason as to why I might not want to belong to him or anyone else. I thought you saw me differently, but clearly, I'm just as much a damned prize to you as I was to him. What, did you enjoy toying with me? De-decided I was s-second-h-hand, used, and the old owner might want me...might want me back?" Shit, her voice was wobbling. That wasn't supposed to happen. Evelyn struggled for a moment and then her old walls, her guard, kicked in. She hadn't had to use them in a while and had almost forgotten they existed.

[Guest]

"No damn it Evelyn no!" Jake yelled, his voice shook, that wasn't even the case at all. Not in a million years.

"No..." He uttered quietly, "No because to me you weren't I did, I did see you differently. But... I knew, I always knew that it was him, it was James and it was always going to be James." Jake raised his voice for a moment and dropped it again. "As much as I wanted it to be, as much as I wanted your feelings to be for me..." Jake's lip quivered, "It wasn't going to be... " His voice trailed and he ran a hand through his hair.

"You in my eyes, you were first. You were always going to be first, but I knew it. I knew looking in your eyes I wasn't, I wasn't and I wasn't going to sit there and lie to myself believing that I was. You were never used to me, never second hand. To me you were brand new, and exciting and... just so many things beyond and above. You're too good for me, I don't deserve you!" Jake yelled.


Jake dropped his head down into his hands, and muttered almost inaudibly, "I don't..."

[Tiger-Lily]

"And there you just proved..." Evelyn trailed off, watching him. She didn't know what the hell Jake had been doing or who he had been with that had filled his head with this shit. All she knew was that she was so damn sick of always having people assume things about her.

She resisted another urge to slap him. Instead, she reached up and grabbed his hands, tugging them off his face so she could see his eyes. It was always in the eyes. And James' had always been so pretty.

Too pretty.

"Blue eyes," Evelyn said, and there was a distinct edge of bitterness that she couldn't hide in her voice. Without her knowing, her hands tightened their grip on Jake's, fingernails digging into his palms in her anger. "Yeah, he has really pretty eyes. Did you know, they're so pretty, when I see them, I forget everything he's put me through. And I forget he isn't as innocent as he looks. And I forget he has me up on that pretty pedestal. That he doesn't treat me as anything more than his favorite pet. That in his eyes, I'm not really human. I'm something to be adored, yes, adored in the way that nothing can touch me."

She paused and then before Jake could interrupt, continued. Her voice didn't wobble. The guard had done its work. Her knuckles whitened as her grip tightened. "And the thing about the glance, what was it? Oh, right. Believe me, I know all about that. James is really alluring when he wants to be. So alluring, I can't even remember ever having much of a choice about whether i wanted anything to do with him. He wanted me, and that was all that mattered to pretty much everyone. And," Here, her voice wobbled again and she looked away hastily. Jake's hands were probably going to start bleeding. "And it doesn't matter what I want. I'm the bitch who rejected saint James."

To her horror, her eyes blurred. Ah, shit. This is inconvenient.

"And here I was, in New York, fresh start ahead, and then, guess what?" Evelyn glared at the floor. "James turns up. Right when I feel like I'm free. Right when I start breathing of my own accord. So, I make the mistake of getting some jackass who couldn't give a shit to help me fool James. And this jerk is probably worse. He thinks I'm worth as much attention as the gum on the bottom of his shoe. In his eyes, I'm the most annoying brat on the planet. He shows me he means this almost immediately. He freaks out and throws pillows at me because I gave his dog a cute name. He constantly reminds me I'm a worthless bitch and he could really be doing anything better with his time than helping me get rid of James.

"And then James comes back into the picture, and I have to pretend so hard that i can tolerate this other Spaniard son-of-a-bitch, who I'm seriously starting to hate. All I can think about is when I can see the last of him, because it couldn't be soon enough. And then James is everywhere I go. He's taunting me, yanking my chain, getting me all riled up and it hurts and I feel like I want to break down all over the place and my roommate tells me I'm leading him on and I'm being a cold bitch about it. And it seems like my friends agree with her and I feel all alone, like I'm really as bad as they all say, and then this other jackass is being all sassy so I give him a few punches to shut him up. But he still sticks around. And he takes them. And he takes my bad temper. And he even shuts up sometimes when I finally break down. And because I really could care less what he thinks, because I'm too worried over what James is doing or going to do, this Spanish idiot sees me when I'm at my worst. I look like shit, I'm in a bad mood, I'm crying, I'm picking fights with him night and day. And I don't even realize I'm letting him see more of me than I've let any of my best friends see, all because I could care less what he thinks. Honestly, he's an idiot, he trips, smacks his head all over the place, he says all the wrong things, he does stupid things that ruin my life and make people think I'm a whore, he laughs when I burn my mouth eating garlic chicken or whatever, and he steals my dessert. He can't even hold open a door for me unless he really, really, feels like it. And then I make the damn mistake of actually talking to him and I realize I let him in too much, because everything he says or does is on the same page as me and for once, James is out of my head and I don't even notice until he shows up unexpectedly. I try to back out, I remember how much James hurt me, and I don't want this other guy, who actually is still treating me like shit half the time, to do the same because unlike James, he isn't stopped by whatever guard I used to put up for James.And then I realize, I can't push him out because....it's too late."

Evelyn finally realized she was probably maiming Jake's hands and let them go, stepping back as she finally looked up at him, feeling tears streak silently down her cheeks. "But clearly, I'm the idiot here. I guess I just have really bad luck."

[Guest]

Jake's hands were aching from her nails digging into them, he stood there and saw her eyes brimming with tears and spilling onto her cheeks.

He didn't know what to say. Jacob never wanted this to turn into something where he lost control of his emotions and never knew what he was feeling. The walls he built for himself just came crashing down the further he let himself fall.

Jacob searched her eyes, and could see her frustration of wanting to be free of James, he understood that feeling more than anyone. He wasn't sure what to say, she had penetrated his walls too, she was there to help him get Rachel off his back while he couldn't stand the sight of her.

Jacob had let her in without really realizing and he even exposed to her just how dangerous he could be to her. They were both cursed with the shitty luck.

"You deserve to have someone see you better than the gum on the bottom of a shoe, or something placed on a pedestal that cannot be attained. You just deserve to have someone treat you like a person." Jake's voice wavered as he spoke to her after finding what he wanted to say.

Jake let his hands drop down to his side, his brown eyes usually so warm, were filled with sadness, "I'm not that person."

[Tiger-Lily]

"I'm not done," she replied. Her voice was kind of hoarse now, partly because she'd talked so much so quickly and partly because there was a painful lump in her throat.

Evelyn reached up and wiped at her eyes. "I can cry, and I don't feel conscious about it. I can just not give a damn about what someone thinks about me or if I look stupid or if I give off a wrong vibe. I can be a bitch and know I'll get knocked into sanity again because someone will call me out on my being a bitch. I learned to value those little things that if James had done, I wouldn't have really given much thought to because the way he did them was so....common. He was always treating me like delicate royalty. I'm not a princess. I feel grounded now. I'm not just second-guessing myself all the time. I do all this around you and I've tried to be this way around James and I can't." She slid down to sit against the wall, legs tucked under the hem of her dress. Her hair scrunchie tugged against her head and loosened, spilling half her hair into her face. Evelyn brushed it out of her face absently.

"But you know what, I get it. That's just me. I guess you clearly stopped seeing me as gum on the bottom of your shoe. Now I'm just some untouchable prize again. I hate that word." Her voice came out stoic, the way it used to back when she'd just met Jake. There was no emotion in it. She was reverting back to it because it hurt a lot less. And, she remembered, it freaked Jake out. Even now, she couldn't resist annoying him.

[Guest]

Jake sat down on the floor next to her and cast her a long glance, "You're not a prize or a trophy, or some blue ribbon whatever. To me you're always gonna be Evelyn the bitch who concussed me with a frying pan, the girl who named my dog after a dead star and bickered with me, and drove me nuts. Someone who glued my phone to my door. You're not untouchable, I can touch you I know you're within reach and you're not up there in the clouds." Jacob let out a long sigh and tilted his head back against the wall.

"I don't treat my girlfriends like garbage, what you have to understand is eventually the way I treated or saw you was going to change along with my feelings for you. Which will happen with any guy that likes a girl. We treat you the way you deserved to be treated if we really like you. Treated with respect, cared for. Made to feel special and in their eyes there is no other girl or a cheap slut, its only you." Jake told her, because sometimes you don't exactly fall head over heels in love with every person you meet.

"I just realized that I can't hold onto you, I don't think any guy can for right now. You just need to be free and not feel smothered or trapped. You just wanna breathe without choking..."Jake went silent letting it build between them for a moment, "I wanna give that to you."

[Tiger-Lily]

"No," she disagreed, not looking at him but at her hands, clasped in her lap. "You were giving that to me until you decided to hand me over to James because I clearly belong there. I guess I read you all wrong." Her voice came out clipped, like she was talking about the weather, and she was glad. She scooted away from him to sit against the door, not wanting to be anywhere near him. "Had it occurred to you that maybe I'd like a say in it, then yeah, it might have been different. You think I want some guy who can't walk anywhere without girls throwing themselves at him? Yeah, that sounds very freeing. But I'm not going to force you into anything you don't want to do."

She now sounded very calm and composed. Like a bank manager. Evelyn struggled to her feet and felt the first real wave of emotion since she'd iced herself over. She suddenly wanted him to leave before she did something stupid. Like burst into tears. She no longer wanted to show him that side of her.

[Guest]

Jake stood up from the floor and said, "I only "gave" you to James when I thought you didn't want me. That you being on another date with a guy meant you weren't interested or didn't care. If I wanted another girl, or a date or to sleep with someone I would have a hundred times over this last month I've spent with you."


"I didn't want the other girls, I wanted you. Only you." Jake confessed to her.

[Tiger-Lily]

"Let me get this straight." Evelyn scrutinized him rather coldly. "You believed that I risked my friendship with two of my best friends, my roommate, possibly your roommate, incurred hate from half a dozen people for picking you over James, probably hurt James more than thrice when I rejected him because you were in my head, got labeled a heartless tease and a two-timing slut by too many people to keep track of, made a fool of myself in front of my entire law class because I didn't want to kiss James back thanks to you, lied to people who trusted me....all because I didn't want you?"

[Guest]

Jacob really didn't want to stand here and be brought down any lower than he already was. He heard enough from Evelyn, and all of his friends.

"I did a lot, I almost got stabbed by a shard of glass, probably almost went into a coma. All of my friends, plus you were there to constantly remind me that I wasn't anything like James. You were there knocking me down, all your friends hate me but I hardly know them so that shouldn't upset me. But to sit there and listen to people you considered your best friends tell you you're inferior right on top with you." Jake paused, biting his lip for a brief moment.


"You know I get that I was an arrogant son of a bitch, but I don't deserve to feel like total crap 90% of the time either."Jake retorted coldly. Its not like Jacob didn't get any repercussions from all of this.

[Tiger-Lily]

Evelyn stared up at him, unblinking.

She should have realized. His friends, of course. Seth, especially, without a doubt. Connor too. What had they said to him? Why would he possibly think she wanted him to be anything like James? If he had, if he'd reminded her of James even a little, she'd have run from him instantly.

Evelyn's shoulders slumped and she suddenly didn't have the energy to put up her stoic face any longer. She should have seen this. Connor hated her. Seth, after yesterday, showed he didn't exactly want her around. It wasn't Jake they thought inferior. He might not have realized this but Seth, for one, probably didn't want Evelyn "the tease" to torment his best friend. Connor had said something along those lines to her about James too.

Jake wasn't the problem. SHE was.

Evelyn's impassive face crumbled as did her restraint. She hated seeing him standing there talking like he'd lost. He hadn't lost anything. Before she realized what she was doing, or could even check herself in time, she rushed forwards and threw her arms around Jake's waist, burying her face in his chest right before she broke down into his shirt. She didn't even realize how much she'd been holding back until now, when the tears poured so fast her eyes hurt and she couldn't make a coherent sound.

[Guest]

Jake wasn't expecting this at all. He wasn't expecting Evelyn to wrap herself around him and cry.

Jake wrapped his arms around her, resting his chin on her head. He closed his eyes, and rocked her gently, "Shh its okay...everything is fine." He said soothingly trying tl comfort her.

[Tiger-Lily]

Evelyn had to take a moment or two before she managed to clear her throat enough to whisper, "You don't get it. You really....you don't. It's not you they're bringing down. They don't think I deserve you. Seth and Connor....they don't like me. I KNOW they don't trust me. That's why Seth was so disgusted when you told him we-we were dating." She sniffled and her voice was muffled into his shirt. "They call me a tease. Connor...he said I was leading James on, playing with him, when you saw us yesterday. I wasn't but they won't believe that. I don't want a guy like him. I want someone to treat me like I'm human, someone to bring my head out of the clouds when I get too bitchy. And you can make me laugh over the stupidest things, you can get me to relax around you and I can hardly do that around anyone. If you were anything like James, I'd be running away from you, not to you! Why is that so hard for you to get?" she asked, reaching up with one hand to wipe her eyes.

[Guest]

"Because..." Jake grabbed her hand that was down that was down by her side, and was finding it so hard to look her in the eyes now, "I felt like even the slightest moment that I had you... that it wasn't me running away, it was you."

[Tiger-Lily]

Evelyn stayed silent a moment, no longer tearing, and then had the craziest urge to laugh. She tilted her chin up to rest it against his chest, trying to meet his evasive eyes. "You think that's me running, you should have seen me for the past two years. Believe me, I can't recall actually ever making a single move on James. And yeah, I run. I'm a coward. It's what I've always done. And frankly, I never really planned to have this fake thing go anywhere. I was scared, okay? I already had James dragging me down. And I was actually used to keeping him at a distance. I couldn't do that with you. So, yeah, I ran. But if I still wanted to run, I'd never have agreed to this whole crazy secret-fling idea of yours."

[Guest]

"Well maybe this is one of those crazy ideas we shouldn't have acted on." Jake admitted.

Jake knew they were fooling themselves thinking they would have lasted even a week like this, "I mean really, how well do those secret flings work out anyway? I mean looked what happened to those idiots Romeo and Juliet. I mean look its barely been a whole day and I've alreadt made you cry."

[Tiger-Lily]

"I wasn't crying because of you, I was crying because you can't see what I see in you....you know what, never mind." Evelyn straightened up and pulled away, wiping her face dry. "You've already made up your mind. Excuse me, I need a drink."

If there was ever a time she wouldn't have minded ecstasy, it was right now. She walked toward the kitchen and Nova yipped at her in greeting. Evelyn pulled open the fridge and grabbed a can of root beer, lifting it to rest against her hot cheeks. She had a headache now, from all the stupid crying. And it hadn't even been worth it. Alexis was right - Evelyn had made a terrible mistake, but not in the way Jake seemed to think.

[Guest]

Jake had said all he had to say and he decided to leave. He turned and walked out of her suite.

He walked down the hall back to his opening the door quietly and closing it behind him.

Jake sighed sliding down the door and sitting on the floor not even bothering to go to his room, he did what he had to do and probably was gonna make everyone else real happy.

Although he had felt worse than he had in a real long time.

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