Central Park

[Guest]

[[James and Evelyn from SoM]]

James walked across the street next to Evelyn, they hadn't really said much, but he wasn't quite sure what to say to her.

Or how to act for that matter.

Did he act like her friend or the guy she met the first few days of junior year? He didn't even remember who that guy was.

They walked into the parks entrance and James took it in first, all the trees everywhere, he almost forgot he was in New York, he even spotted some starting to change for the fall.

James scanned the park finding a bench he looked to Evelyn and motioned her to follow him, "That bench is open."

[Tiger-Lily]

Evelyn almost saaid she would rather they took a picnic table. But then she decided she could handle this.

She followed James and sank down at the extreme end of the bench, crossing her legs and setting her backpack down by her as a useless barrier between them. She tucked some loose hair behind her ears, and then clasped her hands in her lap, wishing she had something to occupy them with.

[Guest]

James took note of Evelyn's little make shift barrier she made.

"Attempting to keep out invaders Ev?" James snorted.

[Tiger-Lily]

Her cheeks reddened again. She grimaced down at the bag but made no move to push it aside. "Maybe. Just so you're clear..." she turned a little on the bench, meeting James' eyes and feeling some of her bravado die away when she realized he was already looking at her, "...how it is."

[Guest]

"How what it is?" He aske cautiously looking at her, forgetting what he wanted to say...again.

[Tiger-Lily]

She bit the inside of her cheek. He was really drawing this out. And he was now looking kind of distant too, a strange look in his eyes as he returned her glance. Evelyn wondered what he was thinking. Was he mentally here or wishing himself elsewhere?

She didn't doubt it was the latter.

"How things are, um, between us, I guess? I mean, we're not exactly friends, are we?" she said, plowing on nonetheless.

[Guest]

James gnawed at his lip before meeting Evelyn's gaze again she was right about them never really being friends.

"You're right, we never really were friends, we hated each other first and well you know what happened after that." He said without having to say.

"Do you think we could ever be friends, or are we stuck like this? You know not really friends but ..." He trailed off though it felt weird to be voicing this to her.

[Tiger-Lily]

She almost said, "hell no", but bit her lip hard to keep it in. "Maybe," she allowed doubtfully. "I mean...we had some incidents of getting along really well before this whole stupid mess came about. Like the time I had to crash at your place because Kelly had Kent over. We were pretty okay then. We even," a small genuine smile came to her face as the memory unfolded from some distant crevice of her mind where she'd shoved it away, "had a food fight."

[Guest]

James felt a smile on his lips that food fight at his house seemed like it had been so long ago.

"Yeah Claire totally hated me after that."

He sighed lookig down at his hands he looked up at her and he knew this would be hard to say.

"Listen Ev, Evelyn. About everything I said to you online, and how I reacted to finding out you had a...boyfriend." He winced at the word feeling his heart hurt.

"The only reason I said anything was because when I saw you with that guy, it kind of scared me, because here we are in a new city, new people, and its obvious Luke and Ash have moved on, and you have too and seeing you with that guy was like. "Here is Ev and she moved on and I'm stuck on her." James paused letting that sink for a moment he brought his eyes to her's.

"Ev I want you to know that every time I said that I liked you even when I said..."He felt his voice waver, "that I loved you, I meant it and I know I might not have been so great since we last saw wach other, but trust me when I was with any other girl, my thoughts always went back to you."

James took a deep breath he felt like a huge weight had been lifted but there was still some on his heart, "I just wanna know where we stand."

[Tiger-Lily]

He expected her to reply honestly after he'd said all that? She'd been a bitch to too many people, and her stomach knotted at the thought that she might have to be one again.

Or maybe she didn't. Just because she thought they couldn't be friends, didn't mean they couldn't try it.

She noticed slightly ruefully that he'd said "liked" and "loved", both in past tense. Not that she expected or deserved anything more. He'd be an idiot if he still felt that way.

But his actions had always made it hard to believe anything he said. She voiced this out loud.

"Hear me out. All those verbal fights that always ended so viciously make me wonder what "like/love" you're talking about." Her voice came out quiet next to his deeper tone. "You say you'd liked me, and yet you'd waste no time fueling fights with me way before Jake came into the picture."

She knew, in some distant part of her heart, that James had - on some scale - cared about her. She wasn't sure how long that had lasted. Probably ended when he realized they weren't headed anywhere he might have wanted them to. And for some reason, that ignited a small flame of hurt and anger inside her.

She met his eyes, ignoring the way they'd lightened like they sometimes did when he was feeling particularly calm. "I've never been sure what you wanted out of this whole mess. I don't really think you'd have been fine with giving up the ability to flirt with every girl around you; it's your natural element." Evelyn looked down at her clasped hands, schooling her pained expression. "You wouldn't....I don't think you'd willingly have stayed with meand been okay and content with it. Regardless of what you said, it would've been impractical for who you are." She tilted her chin up, scanning the lush green around them. Sunlight peeked from under the leaves of a tree nearby, dappling over them and twinkling off James' eyes.

Evelyn swallowed and continued, looking away from him again. "It would have been wasteful to push you into a less-physical relationship like I'd wanted. I didn't...I mean, I'm not comfortable with getting too close to anybody. Hell, i don't do hugs much either. You know that." She grimaced up at him, tucking her backpack closer to her in an almost protective gesture as she went on. She suddenly wished she'd taken Nova from Jake before she left.

"I wasn't about to give it up to anyone. It was a mistake not clarifying that with you, I think. I know," she said before he interrupted, fixing her eyes on him firmly, "that you didn't aim for that. Well, at least, later on, anyways. But like I said, you'd have been bored and frustrated when you realized we were on completely different pages when it came to relationships. Maybe I should have clarified that it wasn't on my agenda, to you. That might have ended things a bit less painfully if you'd known that, um, if we'd been committed, you'd be forced to go saint until whenever I was ready." She rubbed her forehead where a frown-line was developing, smiled sadly and added, "That, or cheat on me. Which would be understandable since i wouldn't have given you what you wanted out of a relationship."

Maybe they might have worked out if they were older and out of the overly hormonal teenage years. They'd had their moments and it had been an adventurous run. She'd owed James her life on many occasions. And it was because she didn't want him to think she'd forgotten everything that she returned his glance and, lying again, said, "Despite all of this, I want to be able to have you around and be fine with it. I like to think all that history wasn't for nothing. We could try...at being friends."

Even as she said it, she knew it would just mean more pretending and fake smiles later on - she couldn't fathom looking into James' pretty blue eyes and feeling absolutely no buzz inside her because even now, there was that familiar warmth she felt every time she met his gaze - but it was either this or cut out two whole years of her life and shoot him down.

Again.

[Guest]

James stared in those alluring green eyes, and he felt himself get lost again, he thought about Evelyn had said, and he realized she was right maybe they might have not worked out, he didn't want to have to change himself completely just to be with her, but he knew that he didn't want to be who he was before anymore.

He wanted to be different, and Evelyn had sort of helped him, although he was still flirtatious, and just kind of fooled around, he was growing tired of it, but his relationship with Evelyn, was something he knew he would never have with any other girl, he sighed, "At least I don't know we tried in some weird way, and I guess if it was supposed to happen it would have but, I just want us to be able to be some sort of civil with each other, I think we owe it to ourselves you know? I know that there is more to you then being cold and distant, and more to me than well you know..." He laughed lightly cracking his knuckles nervously.

[Tiger-Lily]

She nodded and looked down at her feet, uncrossing them and swinging her legs under the bench. "I just felt like we should get all the ugliness out of our systems, first. Um...." SHe gnawed her lower lip in thought, keeping her eyes downward. "Your turn to vent?"

[Guest]

"Ugliness? So should we sit here and insult each other for ten minutes?" James chuckled.

[Tiger-Lily]

She smiled faintly up at him. "Come on, i know there is a lot you want to say to me and not all of it is sugar-coated."

[Guest]

"What can I say Ev, I feel like I've told you everything. I just feel that I opened myself ip to you only to get shutdown and for you to believe someone else over me, and."James expelled a frustrated breath,"I just don't wanna talk anymore about it cause it just nakes me mad."

[Tiger-Lily]

Evelyn glanced at him, surprised. "I believe you about that Candice thing. Well, now I do, at least." She swung her feet again. "But it wouldn't have changed anything. We'd never have worked out, we're incompatible." It was difficult saying that, she reflected, but her mind told her it was right. She'd quit listening to her betraying heart ages ago.

[Guest]

"I never felt that we were that incompatible the only thing I felt was that you didn't want to try, you just wanted to find anyway to push me away." James said coldly.

[Tiger-Lily]

Evelyn shrugged, stiffening at his sudden change in tone. He was right, though. "I didn't trust you," she said honestly, looking over at him. "And I still don't think I do. Which is the biggest reason we'd never work out."

[Guest]

"If you can't trust me, even as a friend then how the hell are we ever going to move past a point where we don't argue and bring each other down? If anything I'm pretty annoyed of this crap." James said not looking at Evelyn.

[Tiger-Lily]

"I didn't say that," she replied swiftly. "I said...well, I can trust you as a friend. You've earned that, many times. I don't doubt you and you've always been a good friend to Luke and Ashlee, so that isn't a problem."

[Guest]

James sighed he needed to calm down because him yelling at Evelyn wasn't going to solve anything, he was just going to push her away, "Listen, I don't know what keeps us stuck here, or whatever, but I just think maybe we should just take things slow or something. I know that I can be your friend at some point, but its not gonna be over night. I get what our problem is, its our history right?"

[Tiger-Lily]

She paused, and then shrugged. "I guess. I'm not sure if it can be pinpointed."

[Guest]

James ran a hand through his hair looking down at his watch he realized it was almost four and remembered that Evelyn had to get to her job or whatever it was, "I kind of had a feeling we wouldn't solve everything right away, but I just looked at my watch, and you don't need to be late for work over this. So maybe we can try and find another day to finish talking?" He asked.

[Tiger-Lily]

She sighed. "Can we not?" she asked. "I mean, you're right, this won't solve itself overnight. Why not just start from the beginning?"

[Guest]

James arched a dark brow at her, "You want to start all over again?"

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