Re: Freshmen Dorms

[Guest]

Antonio heard all of them walking down the hall, and turned his drunk self around and ignoring his brother he marched down the hallway.

Jacob not wanting to be alone, and was in no condition to walk, let alone run. Yet he figured since he didn't feel like walking anymore he took a running start and jumped onto Connor's back, "CARRY ME HOME BITCH!"

[Tiger-Lily]

Evelyn flashed Alexis a grin. "Let's take this as a sign that we really need to start over."

***

Seth spotted some Mexican dude walking out of some girl's suite down the hall. He grinned and hollered, "JAKE, IT'S YOUR HOMESLICE, EL PAPRIKA, WHERE'S YOUR SOMBRERO? LET'S WALTZ, ENRIQUE!"

"Enrique's Spanish, shithead," the guy informed him in annoyance.

Seth pretended not to hear as he walked up to him and attempted to waltz. The guy wasn't cooperative. He kept shoving him away. "YOU WANT TACOS?" Seth asked him. "I WANT TACOS!"

"Aye!" Ashton said somewhere behind him.

Seth let go of this annoying guy (he didn't even have a sombrero. That should be a rule. Once he was president....)

"Once I'm Obama," Seth began importantly, "I'll make you wear one!"

"Wear what?" the Mexican snapped.

Seth forgot. "A monk habit!" He continued walking down the hall until he came to a familiar number. 505. He turned to ask Jake if this was it.

[JulietsCurse]

Connor humphed as weight hit his upper body and he quickly reached back out of some sober instinctive part of his head tried to heft up Jake, even a little bit. He put both needs onto his waist and then threw his hands in the air. "AND IT'S SAFE!" His voice busted through out the dorms, in an pro-wrestling announcer voice before he swayed, and then everything started to angle forward. "SHIT!" He eeped before screaming as he fell. And it wasn't burly, but it sounded pretty damn close to Justin's Bieber's pitch. If not higher.

***

Alexis held out her arm for Evelyn to take. "Lets."She smirked.

[Guest]

Jake fell down on his back, with Connor on top of him crushing him, luckily his arms had fallen down to his sides and he had room to wriggle them free and just kind of continue his "raise the roof motion" "CORAZON! CORAZONNNN!! MARIAAA!! He sang passionately, as Connor crushed him.

Tony burst out laughing and looked up at Seth and shrugged, "I dunnoo mann check!!" He knocked violently on the door, "Holaa girlssss open up da doors hoessss!"

[Tiger-Lily]

Seth stifled a laugh and grabbed Antonio's arm. He made an exaggerated shushing motion. "We gotta creep, fo sho, we aint gon' get caught, dawg! This here ay home turf! THINK NINJAS!"

He cleared his throat and then raised a fist to knock politely on the door. And then banged a beat on it. "Open Schazame!"

"It's Sesa...Sesame?" Ashton came up behind his twin, looking clueless.

"Caesar me!" Seth knocked on the door again.

***

Evelyn stared at the throbbing slab of wood and then at her roommate, green eyes wide. "You open it," she muttered.

[JulietsCurse]

Alexis stared at the door. "... I'll pay you- shit I can't pay you anything, I'm runnin' low.."She cringed and took a deep breath before sucking it down and hesitatingly opened the door, before staring at the mess. Connor was failing with a very-squished Jake under him. They were all red in the face and they all smelled of strong alcohol. She crinkled her nose before coughing and quickly went to shut the door again.


--

Connor whined and flailed, trying to roll off but was like a turtle on his back, only opposite...

[Guest]

Antonio gapped in shock at Seth, "Dem bitches shut the door on us!!" He couldn't believe it no girls ever shut the door on him, he didn't know about Se...? Sam? Steve? But No one shut the door on him.

Tony banged on the door, "HEEEYYY OPEN UP!!"

"Tengo la sensación de que esta noche va a ser una buena noche, que esta noche va a ser una buena noche buena.... whooohoo...." Jake's voice trailed off as he was still on the ground and attempted to roll from underneath Connor's dead weight.

[Tiger-Lily]

Evelyn had had a brief flash of Seth and two identical boys before Alexis shut the door. She stared at the dark-haired girl. "What. The. Hell?

***

Seth snickered. "Relax." He fumbled in his pocket for his keycard and slid it between the door and the doorframe, sliding it up and down.

It always worked in the movies. He glanced over his shoulder. "Enrique, shut the fuck up!"

"What the fuck is your problem?" the Mexican asked Jake angrily.

[JulietsCurse]

"I don't know but I think I'm actually frightened. I think my cousin was attempting to fuck Jake." Alexis muttered, dumbstruck as she stared at the door and quickly took a step back when she heard someone fumbling with it.

***

Connor whined loudly. "YELP! I'VE FALLEN AND I HAN'T GET YUP!" He flailed his arms even more and hpmhed when he landed onto the floor on his side.

[Guest]

Finally Connor had managed to roll himself off of Jake, so Jacob took this opportunity to roll to the side, he stood up and stared the Mexican dude square in the eye, "Ay chicano I'm a full blood fucking Spaniard. I sangrado rojo y oro!" Jake's accent fully kicking in as if he had never lost it.

He poked the little Mexican hat dancer in the chest, "If it wasn't for my country..." He swayed a bit, "Your taco eatin, sombero wearin' country wouldn't even exist. So take your tortilla munchin, hat dancin' self back south of the Rio Grand? comprende hombre?"

[Tiger-Lily]

That psychopathic tinkerbello's trying to unlock the door?

Evelyn watched as the tip of a card appeared on this side of the door. Next came much grunting and shoving and the whole door shook on its hinges. She grabbed Alexis' arm and edged back.

It couldn't work. That was just nuts...

"ON MY MARK!" came Seth's excited voice through the door. "SHOVE, MATEYS! GIVE 'EM YOUR GUNS! LET'S SHOW THIS MOTHERFUCKING FOUR BY FOUR WE MEAN BUSINESS!"

Evelyn had time to exchange a terrified glance with Alexis when something heavy hit the door and - it swung inwards as the lock slid. She yelped in instinct, ducking behind the half wall that turned into the living area. This is not happening.

***

Seth sailed in with the twins behind him, victorious. He paused, glanced behind him to see the Mexican swing angrily at Jake, and shoved Ashton out to go fetch his friend.

Then he flashed a dimpled smile down at the wide-eyed girls. "Hot delivery. We take cash or service."

Ashton hobbled over to where the Mexican had swung at Jake. "We got in! Come on!" he wailed at Jake.

"We're coming!" a trio of girls who looked very like the ones they'd left in their suite appeared behind Jake.

[JulietsCurse]

Alexis gritted her teeth and went back around to Seth and the Ass-Holes, and shoved Seth back as hard she could. "Aye hombre," She hissed. "Take your little side show of freaks and sluts elsewhere."

Connor managed to get up and made a face at the sluts. "Leave, shoo, bye. you stink. bleh."he muttered all together and flipped them off before strutting into the dorm.

[Guest]

Blasted off his ass, Jake still knew to duck when someone was going to hit him, he saw that Ashton had hobbled over to him and he had pulled him down with him and watched as the Mexican's punch was delivered hard to the wall.

He tugged Ashton by the collar and watched as Antonio had made it into the girls dorms and Jake shouted back, "Ha! Mexican, more like MexiCAN'T!" With that he flipped the good sir off kindly and danced into the dorm.


He met Evelyn and Alexis' stunned expressions and waved cheekily, "Buneas noches chickas!" He smirked at them.

[Tiger-Lily]

Evelyn was too struck by the stupidity of the whole situation to even be a little bit unnerved being around Jake.

She had hoes to kick out first.

"Move your slutty ass off my doorstep," she remarked cuttingly to the blond ditz who had followed the Spaniard in. Jake didn't seem to realize she was even there and Evelyn wondered just how trashed they all were.

"This is like, where the party's at, slut," the girl snapped. Evelyn would have punched her out cold by now but she felt too weary to. So she simply glanced over at Alexis for help.

Seth blinked his blue eyes down at Alexis. What was she doing, giving him a chest massage? It wasn't working. "Little to the left," he suggested happily. He shuffled a bit to the side when Jake charged in after Connor. Ashton had made himself comfy on the couch. His feet were up on the coffeetable. Near Evelyn's laptop.

"Oh my God," Evelyn moaned and left the door to go put her delicate things away into her room. She slammed her door so it would lock, threw her purse into a kitchen cabinet, and then gaped as about four more girls waltzed in behind that blond. "We need to get them all out of here!"

[JulietsCurse]

Alexis slammed her fist into Seth's jaw before letting out a breath and stared at the girls. "Okay.. that.. is fucking. IT." Alexis pulled off her jacket and threw it to Evelyn. "Put that somewhere safe that's freaking expensive." She said before going over to the girls. She grabbed Clare by her damned-blue hair and held her in place, keeping her in arms length due to her catty yowls and clawing attempts. "Okay, if ANYONE fucking else wants their hair YANKED out of their slutty ass heads, I suggest you live now and hold your goddamn fucking peace or there will be f'ing security here. And if you think I can't kick your ass then you sure are drunkedly wrong. Or is your slutty minds to drunk to comprehend and I'm just wasting my time and need to throw you all the fuck out now?"

Connor blinked at his cousin. "ME-OW."He laughed.

[Guest]

Jake watched "the hoes" get beat up or thrown out by Alexis, "And another one bites the dust..." He said waving them off.

Antonio pouted, but then nudged Jake and with disregard to any volume level he said, "Damn kind of hot how she takes control like that!"

[Tiger-Lily]

Evelyn never thought she'd be so relieved she had a bitch for a roomie. One of the blond dimwits was still clinging to Seth while Alexis kicked out the blue-haired freak.

"Baby, let's go back to your place," the blond purred in his ear. The disinterest in Seth's face made Evelyn want to laugh. Then she felt bad.

The poor prostitute didn't know any better. The three others had taken the hint and gone sulking off. One of them attempted to drag Jake and Antonio, who were near the door, out with them.

Seth shrugged off his hoe and went to join Ashton on the couch, walking in a trailing line. Evelyn leaned over to the kitchen cabinet and grabbed a can of cheese spray she'd bought for pasta. It was half empty, strangely.

She glanced over at the girl hovering over Antonio (Ashton?) and Jake. "How hard is it to find the damn exit?"

The girl ignored her, slinging an arm around Jake and the other around Antonio. "Let's take this elsewhere, boys. These wannabes are no fun."

Evelyn told herself she wasn't mad. Or even annoyed that Jake and Seth hung with girls like these. Just feeling intruded. She lifted her arm and sprayed the idiot girl in the face, ensuring most of it went on her hair. The girl screamed like a dying animal in Jake's ear before letting go and bolting.

Evelyn, holding onto the can, kicked the door shut and hifived her roommate. Then threw the can onto the sink and went to the bathroom take an Advil.

***

Seth was now involved in yelling rude things out the girls' living room window. "HEY! HEY! WHAT WOULD JESUS SAY?" he hollered at a Jehovah's Witness. "He'd burn your house down and hold mass over your corpse, bitch!"

[Guest]

Jake stalked his way over to Seth by the window and away from the door, he was now partially death in his left ear thanks to super hoe the special edition banshee, he slung his arm over Seth's shoulder and looked straight in the eye and poked him, "Hey I find your language about Jesus offensive." Jake's lips twitched and busted out laughing.

He was so going to hell for that as he made a drunken cross over himself.

Antonio figured he should get away from the door afraid the hoes might come back with vengeance he found Ashton on the couch, and just sat next to his brother, tilting his head back on the couch helooked up at the ceiling snickering like an idiot, "I'm sooooo trasheddd." He slurred.

[Tiger-Lily]

"I find your devotion to Jesus offensive," Seth replied, leaning against Jake as his head began to feel strangely light. "You're a hippo-crike!"

He glanced around and over Jake's shoulder, snickering. "I think Alexis likes me," he announced to Jake.

Ashton was feeling woozy and could only nod his head. Alcohol was never a common companion. "Where exactly are the hot girls, Jake?" he asked loudly.

He didn't notice Evelyn return behind him from the bathroom. She threw Seth and Jake an "Are you freaking serious?" look.

She leaned over the back of the couch. "They just left. Why don't you go with them?" she asked Ashton pleasantly. He looked confused but got up anyway, nudging his brother.

Seth watched this and grinned. "She's lying, foo'!"

[Guest]

"I can't feel my legs." Tony said slightly panicking, then his eyes widened, "Oh my god... I'm a pirahana!"

Jake leaned his head on Seth's and said, "And you sir are a... antipodean fleck of bum fluff!" Jake looked down at his shirt, and saw a noticeable long blond hair on it, and flicked it off, but he patted Seth lightly on the cheek and moved away from him.

"Dude... she like so does. I mean she like defeated an army of skanks... all for you! I mean that's like some fucking dedication cause even I wouldn't do that for you. Like... for serious." Jake ranted, leaning against the wall now for more support.

[Tiger-Lily]

Evelyn's temper began to simmer. "Well, crawl," she suggested irritably to Antonio. For some reason, Ashton found this hilarious. He began to laugh and hiccup as he got up and wandered over to Connor. Evelyn groaned aloud. How would they get Connor out too? Seth and Jake might not be a problem, she hoped.

Seth nodded deeply at Jake like this was the deepest thing he'd ever said to him. Then his eyes widened. "You wouldn't? No, man, you got your own shit to handle. You're right, you're right," He suddenly perked up and bounded over to Antonio. "She be lying, dawg! Don't listen to that siren!"

Evelyn gaped at him. Then recovered. "Can you guys go party elsewhere? Your hoes just left."

Seth winked at her and leaped over the back of the couch to stand on it. He began to bounce up and down, and then toppled onto Antonio next to him. "Fuck! We got our hoes right here, ain't that right, Jakey?!"

[Guest]

Antonio got over his fear of being turned into Nemo, and realized that he was still a person and not half fish, half man. So he sat on the couch and looked up at Evelyn and wagged his finger at her, "Nice try, but you ain't gettin rid of me that easily."

"Boats and hoess.... I'm on a boat, I'm on a boat. Everybody look at me cause I'm salin on a b oat!" Jake started to sing, spreading his arms out and spinning in dizzy drunk circles, he tripped over his own feet and fell on his butt, and he just sat on the ground looking up at the ceiling.

"Weee..."

[Tiger-Lily]

Seth got off Antonio and rolled off the couch - falling on his face. "Shit," he mumbled to the carpet.

Evelyn gave up on Antonio and walked over to Jake, who was now sprawled out on the ground. She reached down and grabbed his wrist, trying to tug him to his feet. Her necklace swung out and she held it back with one hand. "C'mon, Jake," she said through gritted teeth. "Go back to those skanks before they trash your place."

Ashton had slid down to sit against the wall by Connor, starting to feel the effects of all the earlier vodka and tequila.

[Guest]

Jake pulled Evelyn down to him, and he whispered into her ear, "Your necklaceee... it says amor and its okay cause my door is closed and Nova is in there because I can't let him see me this drunk, it will scare the little guy... and he's like my child and I'm his alcoholic father..." He continued to whisper into Evelyn's ear.

[Tiger-Lily]

Alcoholic father? What the...

Evelyn, rubbing her grazed knee that Jake had given her yanking her downwards, wondered what the hell Nova had to do with her necklace....

Her necklace. Oh shit.

She stuffed it down the front of her romper dress and pulled away from the drunk Spaniard, feeling her cheeks redden. "You need help, Jake!"

Seth chose this moment to peer over the top of the couch and whoop, "He needs to get laid, Red!" Evelyn's jaw dropped.

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