Re: James/Luke's Apt: Beginning of a New Me [Lucas]

[Guest]

Ashlee raised an eyebrow at the commotion from the other line and how it just didn't seem to phase Luke at all, she figured James might have been being obnoxious but remembered he wasn't there, unless Connor's dog was still at their place.

"Alright I'll call you after I see her, and maybe join you two if you don't mind having me along, but I have to go I'll talk to you later. Peace out Lucas." Ashlee said hanging up her phone and closing her laptop, she grabbed her purse from the closet tossing her phone inside of it and heading out she figured she'd just text Evelyn on her way to campus.

[[Ashlee to Around Campus]]

[Tiger-Lily]

Luke hung up and tried to ignore the moron outside the door. He logged back into his Facebook while he flipped open the pizza box and took a slice.

He choked violently and put his slice down, hurriedly scrolling down his newsfeed.

What. The. Freaking. Hell?

Luke gritted his teeth. Today of all days, Ashlee had uploaded those pictures. Like there wasn't enough drama? And today, after James had met...whoever.

Luke caught Ashlee on her FB chat. Ashlee seemed to have no idea what she'd done. Luke, for the first time in his life, felt genuine anger towards someone he considered his best friend.

But she didn't know what James had told him. So he continued talking to her.

He was right; Ashlee did have good intentions.

Me
why'd you do it though?
Ashlee
Honestly?
I just thought that maybe they could see this and think about how there was a time when they were actually civil towards each other
Like I don't want them to get married but shit
Me
You don't? XD
Hmmmm
Ashlee
Okay that fantasy of mine died long ago
Me
Lmaooooo
agh
Ash
that girl looks like Ev -___-
Ashlee
Its like there was a time when they actually did get along
Oh crap
He's probably gonna rebound on her
Me
way to remind James who he's trying to get over
Yeah D:
I told him to stay away if he was going to
she seemed decent -__-
Ashlee
LISTEN
Me
honestly Ash
Ashlee
I don't want him to run back to Ev
9:45pmMe
I think James and Ev are just done
Ashlee
I just want us to be friends agin
Me
No,
Ashlee
Like all of us
Me
not even friends
he's hurt
like...badly
no way in hell will he wanna be friends
or ANYTHING -__-

James came online, clearly angered. Luke wondered where the brunet was. Class should have ended by now.

[Guest]

[[ James from Around Campus]]

James had no patience for the elevator in his apartment building, as soon as he got off he stormed down the hall and saw a guy getting ready to what seemed like ram into the door of his and Luke's apartment.

He noticed that the guy had a hat on with some stupid logo, so he assumed that this was still the stupid pizza guy, trying to knock down their fucking cheap door to their apartment.

James was so livid that he couldn't see straight, and he needed to displace his anger. He noticed the guy getting ready to ram in the door again but instead he stood in front of him, grabbed the guy by his shirt and threw him up against the wall, "What the fuck do you think you're doing to my apartment door?!"

[Tiger-Lily]

Luke glanced up from his laptop, alarmed. He stood up when he heard James' recognizable voice in the hallway.

And this James wasn't happy any more.

Luke flung open the front door, knowing exactly what he would find. "James, let him go," he said quietly, wondering what the hell had occurred on James' way home to give him a 180-mood swing.

The guy squeaked in Jame's grip. he was shorter than James, and the brunet was holding him up in the air. "I...I..." he spluttered at James, wriggling like an eel. His eyes were wide with fear.

Luke swore and dove forwards, grabbing James' arm. "Let him go, you idiot!" He glanced down at James' eyes and swallowed. He'd know that look in them anywhere.

[Guest]

James grit his teeth and looked up at the guy, and he released his death grip on him and watched him fall to the floor, he glared down at him and he reached into his pocket and threw a twenty at him, "Get lost or you'll be eating that twenty!"

He stormed past Luke leaving him and the pizza guy in the hallway and going in their apartment and just pacing he needed to calm down, but he wouldn't be able to sit until he got rid of this anger.

Plus he couldn't afford to break anymore furniture because soon enough him and Luke would be sleeping on the floor.

[Tiger-Lily]

The guy scurried away. Luke followed James inside and shut the door, leaning back against it. He watched James with clouded brown eyes.

"What happened?" He thought he knew, but he couldn't be sure. Was it the pictures again?

[Guest]

James unclenched, and clenched his fists, he let out a breath and looked over at Luke and back down at the ground, "You know what happened? I come out of class and whatever I'm walking minding my own business, and then I bump into Evelyn, and she keeps trying to give me money cause I forgot I even did this..." He stopped pacing to look at Luke and tell him the story.

"I had given her like a few hundred bucks, our senior year or some crap like that cause I had overheard how she was having issues with her bills and shit, and she kept insisting I take it but I told her I didn't want it she didn't have to pay me back, and then she shoved the money down my damn shirt. So whatever I picked it up and was pissed at her and shoved it back down her shirt saying ""I'm sorry you're probably not accustomed to taking money into your hands anymore, here let me give it to you in how you were taught." James said sort of mimicking how he shoved money down her shirt as well.

He sighed, "Then she punched me in the jaw, and I told her it didn't hurt like shit and she bent down to get her money and called her "Evie I thought you only did that at night, and on corners."

James ran a hand through his hair and snorted, "Then she had the nerve to tell me that "I didn't have the right to call her Evie." And then I told her, "She lost all rights to punch me in the face after she fucked that bastard and sent me the video, and she said something like I didn't and I snapped her telling her, "You didn't rip my heart out of my fucking chest and step on it, take your money I don't want anything reminding me of you."

James finished the tale and just felt exhausted, even more exhausted then it when it had actually occurred, "Then we got pissed and I walked off campus and that is what happened. So you're wondering if I am depressed? Hell fucking yeah I am depressed."

[Tiger-Lily]

Luke glanced over at his laptop, which was open to the Facebook photo he'd uploaded. "I can tell," he said.

He heaved a breath. "Honestly....if she owed you, taking it back would have ended it, James. Why didn't you just humor her and take the damn thing? Because honestly, her owing you is probably going to stick in her head longer than you two untagging yourselves from those pictures. Seriously, you're in there. Everyone knows. Untagging yourselves will do shit."

[Guest]

James sighed, taking a deep breath to calm his shot nerves.

"She just wasn't supposed to pay me back alright? That's it. She couldn't just not remember,fuck even I forgot."

James could feel his head pounding, the pressure on his temples was pretty irrtating, "Ah shit." He cursed, walking to the bathroom he went to get his stupid medication.

He came back out with the two white pills and he grabbed a bottle of water taking his pills.

He knew that since he hadn't eaten anything he would probably throw up later, but he really didn't care.

[Tiger-Lily]

Luke got up and handed a plate to James with a couple slices of pizza. "Did you have breakfast, by the way?" he asked randomly.

[Guest]

James looked at the slices of pizza, he had actually been hungry but he knew he wasn't going to eat.

He needed to though, he took the plate from Luke, taking a bite from the pizza, normally he would have inhaled four slices.

But this pizza didn't even have a taste to him, James just felt like he was eating nothing.

He looked up at Luke, "I only had coffee to stay awake today, other than that nope." He resumed forcing pizza into his mouth.

[Tiger-Lily]

Luke eyed his friend as James shoved pizza down his throat like he was being asked to eat lead. "James? I think you're seriously....depressed." He and James had had this conversation before. "Loss of appetite is a major symptom."

[Guest]

James swallowed the pizza in his mouth and raised an eyebrow at Luke, "Who are you, Dr. Phil?" James asked, taking a couple more bites of the pizza.

Kind of hating each bite more and more.

[Tiger-Lily]

"You're freaking me out," Luke said bluntly. He sighed. James still looked angsty. But this kind of had to be done. "Ash wanted you guys to remember. That's why she put them up. You may hate Evelyn now but you know at some point, you'd have done anything for her."

[Guest]

James snorted after polishing off the two slices of pizza Luke had given him, "Yeah right, was I stupid then or what? What was I..."

He stopped, feeling sick to his stomach, he recovered for a moment and went on, "What was I..."


This time though he could actually feel the vomit traveling up his throat, and he shoved past Luke to the bathroom.

He threw up, feeling sick, although he had eaten well not eaten more like inhaled pizza that wasn't smart either.

Remember Darko we chew our food we don't suck it up like a fucking Hoover.

James flushed the toilet a couple of times, and he got up to splash cold water over his face.

He looked at himself in the mirror, really looked at himself, and he could see bags under his eyes, he hadn't really slept to well since he had gotten here.

His blue eyes just looked exhausted and sad, and he could see in his face that he did lose some weight.

James sighed,

Hey not only are you depressed, you're a bullimic too!

[Tiger-Lily]

Luke massaged his forehead in frustration. He really was at his wits' end here. When James didn't immediately return from the bathroom, Luke stood up, placed down his slice and went to go check on him.

He leaned against the doorway. "Didn't I say your body would start hating to eat? I remember you doing this back home, James," he added when his memory nagged at him. He paused. "It was usually after something Evelyn-related." If James was ever going to get over her - and now Luke was positive James wasn't, not after he'd turned his whole freaking Facebook profile into a shrine to her (even if negative) - then he'd have to get used to hearing her name.

[Guest]

James took a deep breath and faced Luke, "Dude the reason I threw up because, unlike you I don't inhale my food. Plus I don't even remember not eating because of something "Evelyn" related." James rolled his eyes, making air quotes.

Although he knew he was kind of lying to himself there, because he did remember a few ocassions.

"Listen if we're gonna have insightful, life meaning conversations let's do this in the living room, not where I vomitted a box of pizza." James stated bluntly, walkking past his lanky friend and plopping down on their couch.

[Tiger-Lily]

Luke rolled his eyes and headed back into the living room with James. He sat down at his laptop, absently flicking to his Facebook. He frowned and glanced up at James.

"It's Evelyn-related all right. And way to announce how much you're stuck on her. It's all over your damn page. If that cute girl in your class ever decided to check your page, she'd run."

James had even changed the little Write Something About Yourself Box on his page to read:

Wanna know something about myself?

I made the stupid fucking mistake of loving a fucking girl named Evelyn Mathesson and she fucked me over and I hope she burns in hell.

Cheerful.

He didn't tell James that it was all over Evelyn's page too. No point adding unnecessary hope. But Evelyn's status and and other things had simply been a lot cleaner:

I hate people named James. I hate self-centered pricks who can't give a shit about anyone else.

Her status was now: I'm done trying to help. You were never worth it to begin with, asshole. I hope you die a slow, agonizing death, you insensitive bastard.

Trying to help? Luke frowned. She really did sound upset over this. What had she been trying to do?

"Huh," he muttered.

[Guest]

James kind of just ignored Luke, he didn't care at the moment about his anger towards Evelyn, he would change it though back to something more calm and probably just remove his status.

Despite most of the shit that went down today he actually liked hanging out with that Rose girl in his class.

"Whatever I guess I'll fix it later, or something." He said, leaning back on the couch, stretching his legs out onto the floor in front of him.

[Tiger-Lily]

Luke finished eating and continued perusing Facebook. He sent Evelyn an IM and bit his lip, glancing up at James. "So, you wanna head out tonight still?"

[Guest]

James had been a bit zoned out, but he heard Luke and shook his head, "Not anymore." He said quietly, any feeling he had for wanting to go out earlier kind of left him.

[Tiger-Lily]

Luke stuck out his leg and kicked James' shin. "Hey. Stop brooding over her. I think we should go out, shoot pool. It'll take your mind off of this."

[Guest]

"Fine, fine we'll go." James sighed, getting up, doing this more so to get Luke off his back, not that maybe a night out wouldn't be too bad.

[Tiger-Lily]

Luke glanced up at the wall clock. It was still afternoon. "Wanna just walk around the city? See what's happening?" He got up and began clearing up the lunch mess. He'd been FB chatting to Evelyn on his laptop, but he figured he'd close the chat up later once they decided to go someplace. She sounded a little hassled and he hadn't quite gotten to the bottom of it. He wanted to talk to her some more before she crashed after her meds.

She didn't sound hassled. She sounded...scary. He'd never heard her sound like that before.

Me
So what the hell? -___-

03:05pm Evelyn
I wanted to pay him what he owed me. How is that bad? He was being a stubborn tool.

03:05pm Me
He's James. Did you really have to push him?

03:06pm Evelyn
And I’m me. So because he was accidentally gifted the charm of Pigheadedness, I should bow to his whims? What about MY peace of mind, Luke?

03:06pm Me
I thought Jake gave that to you?

03:06pm Evelyn
....
What?

03:06pm Me
You know, I mean, you clearly seem to have it together. I'm biased though. I have no idea what's going on with you because I only get to hear James' side. So talk to me.

03:07pm Evelyn
I can't. You're too close to him.

03:07pm Me
I wouldn't tell him anything you don't want me to. Honestly, it is HIM you should be talking to.

03:08pm Evelyn
Nah, I'm a ho, he'd never listen to me. And it's okay. I'm done with it.

03:08pm Me
You say in your status, you were trying to help? How?

03:08pm Evelyn
I can't tell you.

03:08pm Me
....
Seriously?

03:09pm Evelyn
Seriously ^_^
I'm sorry. I just don't feel good right now. In fact, I actually threw up twice already.

03:09pm Me
Why? o__o
Bad food?

03:09pm Evelyn
Bad company. -__-
I know it's because of him. Yes, you can tell him he gave me a massive fever if you like. That'd make his day. Tell him my whole body feels like it’s burning up. Like I really am in hell.

03:10pm Me
....
Alexis and I talked today. Why can you and James not?

03:11pm Evelyn
Because you both want to fix things. We don't. He's never going to believe me and I can't trust him. Not after his attitude. And he's so busy playing the victim here, I'm the slut in everyone's eyes.

03:11pm Me
Because of that thing with Jake.
Ev...
Did you....
I mean
What else is James supposed to think?

03:11pm Evelyn
I didn't send him that video. I swear I didn't.

03:12pm Me
Does it make it any less true?

03:12pm Evelyn
I won't answer that. Because it's my and Jake's business.
I owe James nothing. In fact, I did him a favor. Now he'll hate me enough to move on.

03:13pm Me
Well, he definitely seems to be holding serious hate, I can tell you that.

03:13pm Evelyn
That's what I wanted. But you know what, I don't care anymore.
Now i just hope he keeps on hurting.
And is as miserable as he makes me.

03:14pm Me
Evelyn...you don't mean that. Honestly.

03:15pm Evelyn
No, I DIDN'T mean that. Now I DO.
I hope he never forgets
A single damn thing about me.
I hope it hurts him to remember as much as it does me.
I hope he hears my voice in his head as much as his taunts me.
I hope he remembers every damn promise he ever made me.
Every damn promise he BROKE.
And Lucas?
Tell him something from me?

03:16pm Me
Do I want to hear this?

03:17pm Evelyn
Tell him he can quit trying to find a replacement for me. He knows he'll never find her. There is no one else like me and he knows that.
And tell him I hope he never forgets it.

But Luke wasn't going to say anything to James about this. Evelyn had said she was sick. Maybe her illness was acting up.

He left the laptop open on the coffee table and went into the kitchen, rinsing off their dishes. "You're allowed to get trashed," he called back jokingly to James.

[Guest]

James shuddered, he knew he could never hold down alcohol well at all, he figured going out and about town wouldn't be too bad, he was kind of sick at looking at their apartment, "Yeah sure we can go out I don't care just somewhere."

He heard the sound of a message being sent, on Luke's laptop, and he raised an eyebrow and he picked it up, he looked back to make sure Luke hadn't come back from the kitchen, he put the computer into his lap, and he scrolled up reading the conversation, that Lucas was having with Evelyn.

James read the messages, and he just felt a wave of sickness wash over him again, as he read her basically say all the same exact things he had said to her back to Lucas, but she had even mentioned promises that he had made to her, saying that he would never break and he remembered those so vividly promising how he would never hurt her, or make her cry.

Which judging by these messages he probably had made her do so, he put Luke's laptop back in its original spot so he wouldn't think he read anything.

James didn't know how much more of this crushing feeling he got every time he heard, thought, or even saw Evelyn. It was becoming so that he practically stopped eating, and he was hardly even leaving the apartment since they had been here. He honestly didn't remember the last time he had laughed on his own or even slept through the night.

She had been right, her voice, her face, her eyes... they haunted his dreams and thoughts every night keeping him from sleeping. His life wasn't happy anymore, he found it hard making it through a single day without feeling like he just wanted to sleep his life away or even more so just rot away and stay inside.

Luke had been right about him being depressed, but what was he gonna do? Sit in some therapists office and bitch about how his dad died, and his mother hated him and he loved a girl who didn't love him back?

Normally reading this he would have been so angry he couldn't see straight, but he had drained himself so much emotionally within the last few days that he felt like he was on autopilot now, now it was replaced by some numb hollow feeling inside, everything just felt empty... or dead.

Was he really just sitting here and playing victim? Getting everyone to feel sorry for him, he didn't want that. He just wanted to be him, be normal not some sort of heartbroken zombie walking the streets of Manhattan and punching out pizza guys. James' blue eyes flicked back to Luke's laptop and he picked it up, noticing that Evelyn was still online he grabbed it, his fingers hovering over the keyboard.

He typed in the chat:


Me
I won't ever forget... for as long as I'm alive

Evelyn
..........
I see.
Well, that's good to hear.

Me
I just want to say that I never thought that I would actually break those promises I made you
I made to you*

Evelyn
I don't care anymore.

Me
I know you don't, and I don't want to anymore either. So you win, its over. I surrender.
I know you don't, and I don't want to anymore either. So you win, its over. I surrender

Evelyn
Funny how you say that.
Of course, you're the victim. I forget.

Me
I don't want to be a victim anymore

Evelyn
I didn't come online to talk to you.

Me
I know that.

Evelyn
I'm alreayd in enough discomfort right now as it is
where's Luke?

Me
He's doing something
Trust me, I'm just as drained as you are. I would have normally came and found you but, I just have no energy for it whatsoever
And I know you're sick of it too
So am I

Evelyn
I'm...

Me
I'll leave you to your illness then
I'll quit playing the victim

Evelyn
It's too late now.

Me
And let you have your friends, its not right of me.

Evelyn
They're already on yoru side, so thanks. A lot.

Me
Shit even Luke shouldn't be my friend, I'm a terrible, depressed friend. This isn't me playing victim its just me making a realization
Ash is still your friend and so is Luke, should it bother you if Alexis isn't?
What kind of friend judges you so quickly anyway.
As for us

Evelyn
No, it shouldn't.

Me
Well there is no fixing it.

Evelyn
You're seriously making my head hurt.
No, no there isn't.
we3232q

Me
You're making my heart hurt, but I've come to deal with it, I'm leaving though I don't need Luke catching me and clearly you want nothing more to do with me and my feelings are mutual so I'll grant you that and leave you alone

Evelyn
shit

Evelyn is offline.


James looked up and saw that she had signed off, although the box had faded gray and he couldn't enter what he wanted to last to say to her, "This is the last promise I make to you." The cursor flashing next to the words, he held his finger down on the delete button watching the words erase just as easily as they had been typed, although those words had been hard for him to type.

He minimized the chat window and set Luke's laptop in its original spot, James curled up on the couch so he didn't kick it off, and just rested his head on the arm rest closing his eyes, just trying to breathe.

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